It's 12:30 a.m. & I'm bored.

"You become a narcotics addict because you do not have strong motivations in any other direction. Junk wins by default." William S. Burroughs

Was that the case for me? Is it really as simple as I-didn't-have-a-strong-enough-urge-to-do-something-else-with-myself?

I guess it's really not even worth pontificating on that particular subject for too long. The important question isn't "Why did I do this to myself" but rather "What else would I rather do with my time?" Sometimes I feel like other people must have an easier time determining what they want to do with their lives, but that's probably not really the case. Figuring out one's direction in life is not the easiest thing.

All of this would be inconsequential if not for the fact that I genuinely want to do something meaningful with my existence.

I have to go back to Montana for court this week. The thought of being back in Missoula fills me with dread, but I'm sure I'll survive it just fine. And so on.