Four Newer Poems

Here are some newer poems, most of them written while in treatment, that I thought I should share with y'all.  Hope you enjoy them.


The Shot Not Fired

1

History can turn on one single bullet.
      Aaron Burr or Oswald or Booth
           pulls the trigger--
The burst of one shot
magma hot     twists the whim
         of the marching of time
future turns on a dime...

The fistula of ancient hurts is
      swollen up with bitter pus
Regret of what will never be--see,
me, I've never pulled that trigger
squeezing shot to shift the world.

I will never merit mention in
      some epic hardbound tome
My delicious nature?  No--
Though fire-hot I junky burned
my days in turn to crash through time
All sleepless nights, no reason, rhyme,
My impact rests, like most, in now.

2

He who ends in villainy
Acts out a Christly role.
To stoop in shame on history's page
To direct the disgust of the whole.

But as for me, ever-blathering I,
I'll live with being forgot--
I hold this truth self-evident:
Eternal's what I am--or not.


Compassion

Sweet empathy, sweet soul balm,
I bow at humility's feet--
With compassion for all living things,
With adoration from and for God,
With a dream in my heart of what life could comprise--
    see my star rise.

This is me at the mountain's base
        which mountain is life
and Real Life, not some drug pit.

The road is clear, the path of my years,
To live free of hate
            free of rage
                     sadness dwindle--
There is a way out of sickness and longing
I am now taking 12 Steps out of Hell.

Though fire-hot I junky burned my days in turn
 and crashed through my time
blister-eyed nights lacking rhythm or rhyme
From furnace's heart I now march, barely scathed--

Here before God I attest and declare that
       I, so indebted, will spread light & truth,
to lighten the burden of shame sick & sad
to free every heart from the cancer of craving
to stand tall & proud, free from doubt, sure & certain
          that hereon, prismatic, I'll magnify love.

See, I, in the smithy of dope sickness, formed
this heart that will not give up loving the sick--
may my love be a cradle of care & of thistledown
(as in thorn of what's passed transfigured to comfort--

         Glory! Glory! Glory! for those
who will bare their plain heart
Give their power to God

         Glory! Glory! Glorious peace
is the bounty assured for the man who seeks reverence

     Glory, Serenity, Holiness, Wisdom
I've opened my mind--May God take it from here.


Dawn's Ascent

And now the sun says "Welcome
to another dawning miracle"--
it is not for us to say
         "No thank you, God, I'll stick with sorrow."
I can let my inner mind be as the smell of rain;
     That is to say, let me be pure--
For this I pray, for this I pray.

God has granted absolution for us sinners
           New day dawning
Yes, in fact, we have the shot to shoot no more
           To breathe in calm.

Now's the time to rise up from the trough of yesterday.
To crest horizons laid before and
            gaze into tomorrow--
This fresh start's a miracle, as every day we'll see--
             And God as ever asks one question:

                      "What's it gonna be?"

7-15-10


A Bird As Thought

Annihilate yourself--
         so says the addict brain.
But we deserve so,
         so much more,
Thus I look inward--scan my mind.

Is it more a placid pool
         now rippled out by gentle leaves
or rather thrashing tempest, horrid,
         no respite amid this storm?

May my mind be gentle, level as
         a burbling brook in a glen.

A doe softly steps toward the water's edge--
a snapping twig sends crashing wings
through brush and branch
       as thoughts soon stir--

And though the mind is restless,
this thought--as all--it soon will pass.

8-11-10